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If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
If you are really bored, I recommend mass texting all of your exes "I`m ready to give it another shot" and then get ready for the ride of your life
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
I`m too lazy to ever write a biography. Story of my life.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.