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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Shout-out to nature for not giving wings to snakes
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Can`t they just make a "Poke infinity" button?
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.