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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.