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No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
Haters can hate all they want... they don`t affect my money.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.
I wouldn`t do much for a Klondike Bar; I would however get naked for beer.
I`m ABSOLUTELY positive I`d accidentally kill myself within 3 minutes of owning a light saber.
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.