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It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I never get nervous or embarrassed. That`s just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
I followed my heart...now I`m at the liqour store
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I`ve really got to hit the gym"
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.