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My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!