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What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
Sometimes you can just tell it`s going to be a "Does not play well with others" kind of day.
Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
“The darndest things.” -kids
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
funny status idea: a funny and popular one
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.