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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
word of the day: nincomtard
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
When your boss says "You need help", he never means a hitman.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.