Daily Silly Status

It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.

Have you ever seen the look on a mans face when he is truly sorry? Yeah, me either!

We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract

What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?

I did 10 minutes of cardio this morning. I was still drunk from last night, and I was trying to tie my shoes but whatever.

Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.

has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.

There just isn`t enough make-up in this world to cover up crazy.

Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?

Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin

I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.

Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?

I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .

Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.

My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.