Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.
Just worked out, I will spend on average 7 years of my life in the bathroom. My wife will spend on average 6.9 years of her life knocking on the door saying " are you all right in there "
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
Sometimes I send status updates from my phone so it looks like I left the house.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.