Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married