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How come the energizer bunny beats a drum instead of doing something like working the cashier register at Wal-Mart?
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
I kind of feel like getting some work done today, so I’m just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.
Baby Polar Bear: Mommy, am I really a Polar Bear? Mother: Of course you are. Why? Baby Polar Bear: `Cause I`m fukcing freezing!"