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One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
I don`t think its a coincidence that "Sober" and "So bored" sound very much alike
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
The fact that you don’t find me amazing doesn’t bother me at all, it just confirms what I have suspected all along; that you have bad taste.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.