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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
I just can`t seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluently. English and Klingon.
Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
One of the best ways to prepare for marriage is to wait 15 minutes in your car before going anywhere.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
My 5 year plan includes purchasing a Slurpee machine.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
I was in my kitchen cleaning when suddenly I realized OMG! ... I`m late for Facebook!!