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I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
As your best friend, I swear to always pretend to be your lesbian lover when you are getting hit on by an ulgy ass hole in a bar.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.