Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
"Thanks for coming" - sperm bank receptionist.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
I don’t know how Godzilla doesn’t hurt himself. I once had to go to the emergency room after stepping on a Lego piece.
Whether you`re a woman or a straight man, taking a bra off is likely to be one of the high points of your day.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.