Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll drink enough for both of us, because I`m just a caring person.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
I had to explain the Goonies today... so I`m feeling super old and bitter.
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
I`m happy, but not "Oprah just told me to look under my chair" happy.
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
I`m tired of things costing money
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
The only thing I`ve learned from my mistakes is that I make a whole bunch of them
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.