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?-- that guy is cute ?
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
I`ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
hmm ... I wonder what I´m thinking?
I’m tired of things costing money.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO