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PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
Its so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way UP
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Does Facebook offer a 401(k)?
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
I realized that at my income level "Wealth Management" really just means re-organizing the money in my wallet by denomination.
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
I miss my ex a lot... but my aim is getting better.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5