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I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
the WORLDS shortest joke..... "2 women were sitting together quietly
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
It doesn´t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
Balloons are so weird... "happy birthday, here`s a plastic sack of my breath"
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
Ive been invited to farmville! Now what to wear...
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.