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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
You should have been a chicken and just went home.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Been there, done that. allegedly
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?