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I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
word of the day: nincomtard
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
Hash browns not tags.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.