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I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
The phrase "don`t take this the wrong way" has zero % success rate
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
It`s been scientifically proven that originally there were only five fruit cakes ever made!
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
Girls with tattoos on your tits, Why? We`re already looking at them.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
I put the b!tch in the kitchen.~ last thing I remember saying before I woke up in the hospital.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
I can`t possibly f*ck up the entire universe, so that`s a relief.
Vaginas are like the weather. When it`s wet, it`s time to go inside.
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
I rather be a known drunk, than an Anonimous Alcoholic
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.