Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma`am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?
My favorite Yoga Pose is the Upward Facing Couch Potato.
never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes
Word for the day is asstard
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
I liked you better before we met.
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.