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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
I`ve given up on giving up.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.