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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
If life gives you lemons make grape juice than lay back and watch people wondering how you did it;)
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
I just saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth ... She was down to the final four.
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.