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I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
Just once would I like to see the "Phone a Friend" lifeline on Millionaire go straight to voicemail.
Somebody told me I need adult supervision. I was like "I Know!" It would be awesome to be able to see through walls and shoot lasers out my eyes.
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
Ladies: If he’s right handed, and you find the mouse to the left of the computer monitor, there is only one explanation. Sorry Guys.
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.