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My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
People who say, “Happy New Year” to you on the 4th of January are not really your friends.
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
take it easy and if it is easy take it home