Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
Karaoke bars combine two of the worlds greatest evils—people who shouldn`t drink with people who shouldn`t sing.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Imagine coming home from a long vacation and finding your bathroom towels are wet from just being used. I can do that to your ex if you want.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.