Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
I thought I was on the cash cab show! But turns out I was in a police car and cops hate trivia.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
Keychains were invented so that you can lose all of your keys at once.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.