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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
If you don`t put your leftovers in Tupperware for like at least two weeks before throwing it in the trash... you`re doing it wrong.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.