Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?
Judging by the way some women wear makeup it`s rather obvious they didn`t excel at coloring as a kid ...
I don`t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin