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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
If someone says "I`m a sub-par golfer" does that mean they`re good at golf, or bad?
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
*Sees my name in a math textbook* class: *stares at me* me: "yeah b!tches I bought 60 watermelons"
I know some of you would find it hard to believe, but I don`t say everything that pops into my head. I don`t think the average person could handle it.
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
Hello... Modeling Agency? Ya, my selfie just got 34 likes I think I`m ready to go pro!
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.