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My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They`re always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
I wish all these vegetarians would stop eating my food´s food!
Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That`ll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.