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I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
The next time someone asks me what I`m doing, I`m gonna reply "I`m breathing 2 stay alive how about u"?
Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
Ask me about my ability to annoy complete strangers.
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.