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If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.
I`m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
that an iPhone 6+ in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Going to Walmart with my mom and kids is a great way to test if the Xanax is working!
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.