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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
I was stood in front of the mirror last night, admiring my six pack. Then it occurred to me, why the f*ck am I not drinking it?
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I`m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook