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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too