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You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
ALCOHOL! Giving you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your capability to do so.
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you`re talking about BABIES?
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!