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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Send a man to the store to get 5 items, he will come home with 4. Send a woman to the store to get 5 items she will come home with 54. Its science.
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it”
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.