Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
Nothing says "I`m behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
They should`ve added "Might lose a lot of sleep" in Facebook`s terms & conditions before signing up.
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.