Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
The black sheep always have the best stories.
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Definitely never want to own a small fruit stand in an action movie.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
I once dated a girl with a parrot. The thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
Give a man a fish & he`ll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.