Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
To be fair, if I had a friend who could turn water into wine - I’d worship him too.
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
I overheard this guy bragging about his fancy hotel sweet. Ptttsht. They are nothing but cheap a$$ mints!
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.