Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So many rules; so little time to break them.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I give great marriage advice if you want to be divorced.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
Iām over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)