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I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
I`m kinda like an onion, not in some deep I have layers way, but if you see me naked, you`ll cry.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
We should be thanking our Dads for bringing us into the world, not our Moms. She probably wasn`t in the mood...