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If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
The Great Wall of China has brought more foreigners than it has kept out.
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
You`re either part of the solution, or you`re one of my coworkers.
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?