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Partying on my level requires years of training.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!