Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I`m not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
I`m at my most popular when I just want to be alone.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.