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Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
Male camel toe? Dude that`s just nuts.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
Life`s short ... Drink fast
I play hard to get along with.