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My gift horse is facing the wrong way
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
Iām Not Arguing. Iām Simply Explaining Why Iām Right.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.
Paperclips: The staple for people with commitment issues.