Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons!! Enjoy the day
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked “do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply “what do you need?”
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
Sarcasm is wasted on the idiots who inspire it.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
If anyone knows Phillip tell him I have a bunch of his screwdrivers.
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”